Child's Play: A Spaceman's Story
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Child’s Play: A Spaceman’s Story
I had just been laid off from another job and had enough money set aside to take a long overdue sabbatical. I had spent the last 30+ years as a software engineer and to say I was a little disappointed in how my life turned out was probably an understatement. In fact, I was disappointed with just about everything in my world.
The optimist says the glass is half full. The pessimist says the glass is half empty. I always said I wanted a bigger glass!
As a little boy, I had seen a man land on the moon and I wanted in on that. My first disappointment was that to be an astronaut I had to become a military pilot first. When I found out a near-sighted boy could never be a military pilot I was crushed.
Later in life, I thought that I could still be a part of this new future by getting a degree in Aeronautical Engineering, so I did. This of course just led to more disappointment when the manned space program pretty much ended. Sure, we had a shuttle, but that turned out to be just a big space truck to haul junk into orbit and now we didn’t even have that. The great nation I called home, that once put a man on the moon, has to beg rides from the Russians to get to the International Space Station now.
Women, in general, were a disappointment as well. I say in general because I guess you can’t really count your mother in that group. Don’t get me wrong. I liked having sex with women, but they always expected more, go figure. They wanted their man to have a good job to be a serious candidate for a future husband but when that involved travelling a lot, that was a problem. I’m sure there was some solution to this problem but I didn’t have time for that. I settled for the simple, fun and meaningless relationships instead. It was far less disappointing.
So there I was, just walking my dog one day, when a beautiful young woman came to take me away in her spaceship, or at least that’s what she said. I didn’t believe her of course, but I didn’t really have any other great plans for the day so I decided to play along. I wasn’t really expecting much so I didn’t think I would be disappointed by this decision. Once again, I was wrong.